I believe we are all “color blind”…

Or, actually, nobody is. 

He sees brown, but I see gray.

This is our sheet set. I see gray with maybe a hint of pink. My husband sees brown the shade of homemade chocolate milk. 
I see so many This Color is Breaking the Internet posts like this Earthables post.  I see a beautiful turquoise green, by the way, and husband says it’s more of a swampy green. He also used the word gray to describe the green. I have never seen a green with gray before. 

What does this mean?

It means that like so many things in the world, we all see things a bit differently. So, the question is, is anyone actually color blind? Or did someone somewhere along the way just say, You see things differently than I do. Therefore, you are wrong. I will label you color blind. 

What an ugly thing labels are

How far back did humans begin finding reasons and ways to divide ourselves? When did we cease to just be people? How do we know how black or white a person actually is if we cannot see the same color? It’s just another way to divide the nations. Watch Bones and be reminded race is actually determined by bone structure NOT skin color. Also watch and be reminded we all really do look the same on the inside.

No one benefits

We probably all benefit from something that makes us different, and it causes another to feel hatred or jealousy towards us. This is what those original labels taught us to do. The first label was given. Probably, it was the simplest of things. It started with I’m hungry. One creature ate other creatures and those creatures started to team up to evade or take down the newly labeled shared enemy. 

Thus, humans came together. They began to team together for work. They bonded. Someone said, I’m in charge. Perhaps they took down the idiot who thought they would be in charge, or perhaps he or she was left in charge. Either way, it was the beginning of human separation. 


So, people evolved. Adaptation leads to evolution. In this case, they adapted by getting to know each other to work together as a tribe. As I pointed out above, someone became in charge. Maybe someone was elected? Maybe after working together they decided one guy had his stuff together. He really knew what he was doing. They just started following his lead. 

Language was developed. Probably started with pointing. Then grunting. Then sounds. Then words. Think of how a baby develops language. Eventually, they mimic our sounds which we have labeled English, Spanish, German, Italian, etc… And divide those into dialects, because she talks funny is just another label used to divide us. We teach our children each label when we teach them our word for it. 

Our 5 senses are just that, OURS

No matter if it’s the color we see, the sound of a baby crying, what our favorite meal tastes like, what that fresh cut grass smells like, or how ticklish we are. We all know somebody who sees, hears, tastes, smells, or feels it differently. Same goes for how we talk. Your own voice sounds different on a recording, right? 

Why? Because all of our senses are built only on perception. My brain transmits what it perceives my lenses to see. His transmits what his perceives. We are both nearsighted, yet we cannot just trade glasses. 

Add a filter

Lenses are just like filters. I added a filter to the original picture. 

Using the Autumn filter, I see a dark brown.

Using the Spring filter, I see a different shade of gray and much more pink.

Finally, using the summer filter, I have found a creamy chocolate.

It’s not quite the same color as chocolate milk, but it’s as close as I could get with my filters. Did they change for you?
Filters. They change your perception. If the lenses you’re looking through make you see something ugly, try a different outlook. Approach it from a different angle. How we think of each other and how we divide ourselves all comes down to perception. 

It’s not always easy. We all fall for some label. We assess the color of someone’s hair, their height or weight, etc… and we label them accordingly. Just as easy as we label a file. Just the way our brain labels the color we are seeing. 

Change your perception, change your world. 

Palmolive Fusion Clean is AMAZING!!

I don’t really do product reviews. I use the products I use, and don’t really give it much thought. I feel that Palmolive Fusion Clean deserves a moment of my attention. 

I initially picked up a bottle of this a few months back as part of a buy one get one free offer. My family has a tendency to skip the rinse, and the bottle promised to remove stuck on food that had been sitting for 24 hours. Palmolive is a trusted name in my house. I decided to give it a try. 

It works great on those stuck on foods my family forgot to rinse. Sometimes, I need to apply a little extra to my washcloth to get the really stuck on foods. I handcrocheted all of my washcloths, and they have great scrubbing abilities. 

Recently, I’ve been scrubbing our new place to clean it in preparation of moving in. I was dealing with a particularly disgusting kitchen and having a bit of trouble breaking through the grease and grime around the cooking area and the caked on food spills left to rot in an empty house for months. 

I’ve tried everything from all purpose to degreaser to bleach. I tried scouring pads, brushes, microfiber sponges, and regular sponges. Nothing was cutting through the grease and grime. Yesterday, my husband was running to the store for nails to finish replacing some floor boards and asked if I needed anything. I had him pick me up the Palmolive Fusion Clean (baking soda & grapefruit). 

I made a bucket of sudsy water (cold because we’re still without running water over there and hauling it in from here in jugs) and grabbed a microfiber sponge. I tackled the cooking area, stove alcove, and hood, which were all covered in so much grease that you could actually see it. It still took a lot of elbow grease, but it worked! Thanks to Palmolive Fusion Clean , my kitchen is almost clean!

It also comes in baking soda & lime, though I haven’t tried that one, yet. Like all Palmolive dish soaps, a little bit goes a long way. 

*Palmolive did not pay me for this review and, in fact, are probably unaware of its existence. 

Moving into a fixer-upper…

I never knew that moving could be such a slow process. We spent another weekend working at the trailer. Saturday, my husband took the kids over to clean up the yard. They filled quite a few trash bags. Now, we just need to get over there with the lawn mower and the yard will be finished. Sunday, I did more precleaning with the shop vac and my husband built and installed more plumbing.

Monday, my son wasn’t feeling well, so he stayed home from work. My husband worked his usual shift. I stayed here at the house and worked on cleaning, organizing, packing, and my usual dishes and laundry.

Tuesday, just as I was settling in to start more of the same, I received a text from my husband. They were both given the option to go home for lack of workLack of work days basically means that not all the presses are running, so some operators get the day off to go do whatever they’d like to do. The plus side: no write up for missing work; the down side: no pay because you didn’t work. They go by seniority, offering it to those with higher seniority, first.

So, I changed clothes, and, when my husband got home, we headed to the hardware store for a few things, grabbed a bite to eat, and went to work on the trailer again. We spent about five hours there that night. He built another section of the plumbing, and I scrubbed out the pantry. It took me the better part of that five hours to clean the pantry. [you can see the pantry in Photos of the new place]

Yesterday, the husband had another list of things he needed from the hardware store. We woke up early and headed out there. Railroad tracks tore off our muffler and mangled our exhaust pipe into the rear axle. He cut off the section of pipe that was mangled. The shocks on that side are shot. We dropped our purchases off at the trailer, and headed home so he could get ready for work.

About five minutes after shift starts, he calls me to tell me they took lack of work, again. We headed back to the trailer, again. He built more of the plumbing and I spent about four hours scrubbing the kitchen cabinets, counter, wall, and ceiling opposite the sink. That’s the giant cabinet I plan on putting my pots and pans in and the one above it where I will probably keep plates, bowls, glasses, and mugs.

To be honest, I didn’t realize how much time it was going to take to scrub this place from top to bottom. I anticipate the kitchen is going to take me another two or three days. While it looks like my husband is going to have to rebuild the entire plumbing delivery system, he is fairly certain he will have finished it by the end of the weekend.

Today and tomorrow, they are going to decline lack of work if they are given the option. There is still a chance that they will be sent home anyways. I, personally, need a break from the bleach and have so much to get done around here. My son doesn’t manage to get nearly as many dishes done as I do, and God forbid anyone but me touch the laundry. hahaha I told my husband that I cannot go to the trailer, today, even if he ends up with lack of work.

All of this activity going on is hard on Bear B. He isn’t used to both his parents being gone all day. Last night, he had another seizure. This one was particularly bad. He was yelping and crying. Afterwards there was a lot of confusion. He didn’t recognize us and was frightened by the slightest of sound or movement.

Afterwards, when we went to bed, he did something entirely out of character for him. For the first time in his almost 8 years of life, he hopped up on the bed to sleep. I had to physically move him so that I could lay down. He hopped off the bed, waited for us to settle in, and then hopped up and curled up on my legs. I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t even settle down to go to sleep. He stayed for quite a while. I never stay still for long, so he eventually climbed down and wandered off to sleep on the floor somewhere.

The funny thing is, we’ve been trying for years to tell him he can sleep on the bed with us. We have a king sized bed, and I sleep over on my husband’s side of the bed all snuggled up. This leaves my entire side of the bed open for him to sleep on. Nope, he wanted to sleep on my legs, and, when I wouldn’t stay still, he ran off to pout.

It’s a slow process of bleaching and repairing our new home so that we can move in. There are still so many repairs and replacements that will need to be done after we’ve moved. If you’re interested in seeing the progress, I’ll be posting as we go. I’ll try to check in here as often as possible. Follow me on Instagram for photos of our progress, on Twitter for quick updates, and Facebook for my longer updates.


I think I like me…

I’m not the person I thought I’d be. I can’t say I’m better than I dreamed I’d be, but I can’t say I’m worse, either. I’m just a different person.

Recently, people and events have made me question the person I’ve become. They’ve caused me to take a closer look at myself. I think I like me.

Am I flawed? Of course I am. But, that doesn’t mean I’m not perfect. Why can’t I be perfect? If true perfection cannot exist because we are all, indeed flawed, then whose to say that we aren’t all absolutely perfect in our own flawed way?

I don’t always like me. I struggle with self esteem issues. I struggle with loving myself or accepting the love of those who truly do love me. Why would anyone love me when those who I thought didn’t have a choice could not? But, love isn’t guaranteed, even the love of your own flesh and blood.

I’m learning to understand that’s not about me. That’s not about who I am. My father told me that I’m not successful like the rest of my family is. I wrote him a rather long reply about all the ways I am very successful. I guess that because of our struggles, we could not possibly know success.

What I see is a family who fell, hard. A family who reached for a loving hand and found there was no one around. A family who fought and clawed their way out, together. A family who is working hard towards the future. This is success. Are there still obstacles? Sure. But we have faith that we can overcome them, together.

I like the woman I’ve grown up to be. I’m kind and loving and welcoming. I’m shy and absolutely terrified of the world and new people, but my outgoing husband holds my hand and gets me through it. I have a marriage that might not always be perfect, but it’s always perfect for me. We’ve been through hard times together, and I know we’ve got each other’s backs through it all.

So, yeah, I think I kinda like me more than just a little bit. I think I like me a lot. I think I can be proud of the woman I’ve grown up to be. I have achieved my childhood dream of becoming an author. I have found love and romance and happiness. I have two really awesome kids who I am proud to call my own.

Yeah, I think I’ll keep me around…

Recipe: Best Shredded Pork (Slow Cooker)

The other night, I made the best shredded pork I’ve ever made. It was delicious. I thought I’d share the secret with you. 

First, I rubbed both tenderloins with some Texas dry rub. You can find some great recipes online or use your favorite rub. 

I melted a couple of tablespoons of coconut oil in a skillet and browned the tenderloins on all sides. 

In the slow cooker, I covered the bottoms with onion slices. I had a vidalia onion the size of a newborn’s head. I cut it in half and then sliced it like I would rings.  I placed the tenderloins ontop of the bed of onions, put the lid on, and set it to cook on low. 

I cooked it on low for 5 hours. I removed the tenderloin to a large bowl and shredded it. I used tongs to fish out the onions and put them in the bowl with the shredded pork. 

I used a ladle to scoop out as much liquid as I could. I probably left about 2 tablespoons in the bottom of the slow cooker. 

I dumped the shredded pork and onions back into the slow cooker and used the tongs to toss them with a bottle of BBQ sauce (I had Sweet Baby Ray’s hickory brown sugar). I then turned my slow cooker to the warm function and put the lid back on. I let it warm together for about 15-20 minutes. I used the tongs to stir again before serving. 

We put our shredded pork on delicious onion rolls and served them with a side of bacon ranch pasta salad. I also cooked up some fried apples seasoned with sugar and cinnamon. It was a filling and delicious dinner.