I believe we are all “color blind”…

Or, actually, nobody is. 

He sees brown, but I see gray.

This is our sheet set. I see gray with maybe a hint of pink. My husband sees brown the shade of homemade chocolate milk. 
I see so many This Color is Breaking the Internet posts like this Earthables post.  I see a beautiful turquoise green, by the way, and husband says it’s more of a swampy green. He also used the word gray to describe the green. I have never seen a green with gray before. 

What does this mean?

It means that like so many things in the world, we all see things a bit differently. So, the question is, is anyone actually color blind? Or did someone somewhere along the way just say, You see things differently than I do. Therefore, you are wrong. I will label you color blind. 

What an ugly thing labels are

How far back did humans begin finding reasons and ways to divide ourselves? When did we cease to just be people? How do we know how black or white a person actually is if we cannot see the same color? It’s just another way to divide the nations. Watch Bones and be reminded race is actually determined by bone structure NOT skin color. Also watch and be reminded we all really do look the same on the inside.

No one benefits

We probably all benefit from something that makes us different, and it causes another to feel hatred or jealousy towards us. This is what those original labels taught us to do. The first label was given. Probably, it was the simplest of things. It started with I’m hungry. One creature ate other creatures and those creatures started to team up to evade or take down the newly labeled shared enemy. 

Thus, humans came together. They began to team together for work. They bonded. Someone said, I’m in charge. Perhaps they took down the idiot who thought they would be in charge, or perhaps he or she was left in charge. Either way, it was the beginning of human separation. 

Evolution?

So, people evolved. Adaptation leads to evolution. In this case, they adapted by getting to know each other to work together as a tribe. As I pointed out above, someone became in charge. Maybe someone was elected? Maybe after working together they decided one guy had his stuff together. He really knew what he was doing. They just started following his lead. 

Language was developed. Probably started with pointing. Then grunting. Then sounds. Then words. Think of how a baby develops language. Eventually, they mimic our sounds which we have labeled English, Spanish, German, Italian, etc… And divide those into dialects, because she talks funny is just another label used to divide us. We teach our children each label when we teach them our word for it. 

Our 5 senses are just that, OURS

No matter if it’s the color we see, the sound of a baby crying, what our favorite meal tastes like, what that fresh cut grass smells like, or how ticklish we are. We all know somebody who sees, hears, tastes, smells, or feels it differently. Same goes for how we talk. Your own voice sounds different on a recording, right? 

Why? Because all of our senses are built only on perception. My brain transmits what it perceives my lenses to see. His transmits what his perceives. We are both nearsighted, yet we cannot just trade glasses. 

Add a filter

Lenses are just like filters. I added a filter to the original picture. 

Using the Autumn filter, I see a dark brown.


Using the Spring filter, I see a different shade of gray and much more pink.

Finally, using the summer filter, I have found a creamy chocolate.

It’s not quite the same color as chocolate milk, but it’s as close as I could get with my filters. Did they change for you?
Filters. They change your perception. If the lenses you’re looking through make you see something ugly, try a different outlook. Approach it from a different angle. How we think of each other and how we divide ourselves all comes down to perception. 

It’s not always easy. We all fall for some label. We assess the color of someone’s hair, their height or weight, etc… and we label them accordingly. Just as easy as we label a file. Just the way our brain labels the color we are seeing. 

Change your perception, change your world. 

I think I like me…

I’m not the person I thought I’d be. I can’t say I’m better than I dreamed I’d be, but I can’t say I’m worse, either. I’m just a different person.

Recently, people and events have made me question the person I’ve become. They’ve caused me to take a closer look at myself. I think I like me.

Am I flawed? Of course I am. But, that doesn’t mean I’m not perfect. Why can’t I be perfect? If true perfection cannot exist because we are all, indeed flawed, then whose to say that we aren’t all absolutely perfect in our own flawed way?

I don’t always like me. I struggle with self esteem issues. I struggle with loving myself or accepting the love of those who truly do love me. Why would anyone love me when those who I thought didn’t have a choice could not? But, love isn’t guaranteed, even the love of your own flesh and blood.

I’m learning to understand that’s not about me. That’s not about who I am. My father told me that I’m not successful like the rest of my family is. I wrote him a rather long reply about all the ways I am very successful. I guess that because of our struggles, we could not possibly know success.

What I see is a family who fell, hard. A family who reached for a loving hand and found there was no one around. A family who fought and clawed their way out, together. A family who is working hard towards the future. This is success. Are there still obstacles? Sure. But we have faith that we can overcome them, together.

I like the woman I’ve grown up to be. I’m kind and loving and welcoming. I’m shy and absolutely terrified of the world and new people, but my outgoing husband holds my hand and gets me through it. I have a marriage that might not always be perfect, but it’s always perfect for me. We’ve been through hard times together, and I know we’ve got each other’s backs through it all.

So, yeah, I think I kinda like me more than just a little bit. I think I like me a lot. I think I can be proud of the woman I’ve grown up to be. I have achieved my childhood dream of becoming an author. I have found love and romance and happiness. I have two really awesome kids who I am proud to call my own.

Yeah, I think I’ll keep me around…

TBT: Have you seen Blue?

You know me. I’m not very trendy. I don’t participate in things like Throwback Thursday very often. I just don’t think about it, really.

Last night, I came across this video in my Facebook newsfeed. If you had a child in the nineties or were born in the nineties, chances are you know the iconic blue puppy and her owner Steve.

My son was born in ’97. Nick Jr. was often on the TV while my toddler son played on the living room floor. Being honest, it was mostly me watching. He’d occasionally look up from his line of toys, usually matchbox cars or blocks and occasionally both. That’s how he played. Making perfect lines as far around the house as they could go, lining up each toy and adjusting until it was absolutely perfect before moving on to the next.

He didn’t really engage in the TV shows the way they were intended. He didn’t sing for Backpack as Dora and Boots asked for help, though Backpack was definitely his favorite character. He rolled his eyes and went back to playing while the map sang it’s annoying ditty. He had a good laugh when they encountered things like the giant chicken, and he always wanted Mom to do the chicken dance, but he never participated himself.

Blue’s Clues Intro

As soon as they announced that it was time for Blue’s Clues, he’d abandon whatever he was into. He’d be glued to the TV. He’d respond to Steve’s questions, he’d shout when he found a clue, and he’d get up and skidoo with Steve regularly. He was engaged. He even had  his own designated thinking chair. Steve Burns did an awesome job of reaching out through the TV and making it feel like you were a part of something. Often times, I’d find myself replying, too.


The Moth Presents Steve Burns: Fameishness

Steve Burns talks about being that person to millions of kids around the world and what happened when he became one of People Magazine‘s most eligible bachelors including his date with a Playboy Bunny.  Steve Burns is still an awesome entertainer.

Now it’s time for so long

My son’s nineteen now, but he still gets a smile on his face whenever something Blue’s Clues related comes up. It’s that same grin he had when he was just a toddler. I hope I have put a similar smile on many of your faces.

Now it’s time for so long, but we’ll sing just one more song. Thanks for doing your part, you sure are smart…

Is a New Year really a NEW chapter?

I’m not quite settling into the new year like I wish. I mean, in theory, it’s just another year. More of the same old same old of years passed. What makes the end of the old and beginning of the new so difficult?

Really, nothing changed besides the fact that we’ve been going through this crazy schedule change. The battles that began last year did not magically disappear. The bills still arrive at the same time every month. Their due dates remain unchanged.

So, why does it feel like I’m lacking the motivation to begin a new year? Is it the simple fact that nothing has changed? Is it that I don’t feel anything special in the changing of the year? I mean, honestly, I’ve never understood why people act like a new year is going to bring so much change. The biggest change of the new year is remembering to write 17 instead of 16 while writing the date.

Here I sit, wanting to impart some piece of wisdom about this new year. I want to have something witty to say about how great the new chapter is going to be. Truth is, my writer’s brain just doesn’t see new chapters or new books that begin just because it is a new month or a new year. My writer’s brain ends my chapters as major life events come to an end or change. This just wasn’t the case for my new year. Nothing ended. Nothing began. Nothing changed.

How, then, is this a new chapter? It almost feels like trying to end and begin a chapter mid sentence. Mid thought. Mid event. That’s just not how it’s done. Maybe I’m not struggling to bring in the new year, after all. Maybe it just flowed in quietly, in the middle of a chapter, with all of the pomp and circumstance of a blade of grass growing.

How about you? Did new year bring in a new chapter for you?

Make a list

Today’s Blogging University assignment is to make a list.

Today, let’s write a list. Compiling a list is a way to let loose, unlock ideas, and free your mind. Today, write your own list on one of these topics:

  • Things I Like
  • Things I’ve Learned
  • Things I Wish
  • Things You’re Good At

There are no rules, though you can create some boundaries for yourself by deciding in advance how many items you’d like to include, or by setting a timer – try a list of 15 items, set a timer for 45 minutes.

I’m a great list maker. I make lists when creating holiday menus, shopping, and packing for a vacation or move. When it comes to my writing, I’m not so good at lists. I do use the sticky notes feature on my computer. I keep lists of my characters and any details that may be pertinent throughout the story. That’s about the extent of my lists when it comes to my writing.

I wasn’t really certain which list I would choose when I started this post. I was leaning the most towards Things I Like. Mainly because it seemed like the easiest one to write. After all, who can’t come up with a list of things that they like? There is so much great stuff to enjoy in the world. I knew that I wouldn’t write a list of Things I Wish. This is mainly due to superstition. If you share your wishes, then they don’t come true. Right? Then, there is the option of writing a list of Things You’re Good At. I’m not really good at focusing on my positives. I am not really good at focusing on myself. But, Things I’ve Learned is the one that keeps calling to me.

I’ve learned so much in my 37 years. I don’t think I ever really thought to make a list of them, but here we go:

  1. I’ve learned that being family doesn’t guarantee love.
  2. I’ve learned that marriage is a lot of hard work and compromise.
  3. I’ve learned that you have to be flexible because just when you have a handle on things, life throws you a curve ball.
  4. I’ve learned that some people only care about you if there is some benefit to them.
  5. I’ve learned that the only person who can truly judge me is me.
  6. I’ve learned that love is worth more to me than all the fortunes in the world.
  7. I’ve learned that true love is an amazing gift.
  8. I’ve learned that I am capable of so much more than I ever imagined I would be.
  9. I’ve learned that I am strong and resilient.
  10. I’ve learned that it’s okay to have days where you just don’t want to.
  11. I’ve learned that if you want something in life, you have to go out and get it.
  12. I’ve learned that you do not get what you put in and people don’t always get what they deserve.
  13. I’ve learned to let go of fear and uncertainty and put a little faith and trust in their place.
  14. I’ve learned that it’s okay that life didn’t turn out the way I planned.
  15. Most importantly, I’ve learned how to enjoy the life I have.

How about you? Do you have a list of things you’ve learned? Can you make one of the other lists?