#Earworm in my head

I’ve spent weeks with a song stuck in my head.Over and over this song plays in my subconscious, pushing itself to the forefront of my brain every time. It happens on occasion, a song I can’t shake. And I just so happen to have a little leftovers on my iTunes account from Christmases long ago. I’m frugal, even with my iTunes money. What can I say? I want to make sure I really and truly do want to spend my money on that song. I have regretted hasty purchases in the past. But sometimes I just can’t get a song out of my head. I’ve found the only way to get some of those really stuck songs out.

When I can’t get that song out of my head

Every now and again, I just can’t get the song out of my head, no matter how hard I may try. When this happens, I spend a little of that iTunes cash I’ve been hoarding for years, and I buy a song. I download it into my iPhone (which is now just my personal assistant because I dared to drop Sprint). I plug in my headphones and I listen to it over and over again, usually in few hour increments.

My Current Earworm

I can’t say when it happened or how long I’ve had this song stuck in my head. I know it was back in August. It would come on iHeart radio every now and again. It would play and I’d blast it. Played it for the husband. He came across the video on his Facebook page. It’d play randomly while I had my personal assistant playing music for me. My husband would find someone new to talk to about it and play it for. It stayed in my head when no one was listening to it. I’d just be hearing it anyways. It’s definitely in there good.

Finally Bought It

Bought it a couple days ago. Been playing it a little more often, a little more on purpose, kind of trying to get it out of my head. Still it plays on and on. It is obviously not going to get out of my head.

Play it Out

Tonight, as I type away, I have it on repeat, playing over and over again. I break it down. I think of the words. I feel you all in the front of my mind, and I’m talking to you, but back there where I’m hearing the words, somewhere in the back of my mind, I am dissecting the song, letting it sink in, playing it over even as it plays on.

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I am not alone

I’m looking to play it out. I need to get it out of my head. Then it can take its proper place in my playlist. I’ll still listen to it from time to time as it plays through. It also has the benefit of counting number of plays so my iTunes can learn to play this song more often because I listen to it A LOT, and it needs to catch up with all the songs I’ve done this with before.

Contemplate It

I don’t play it non stop. I don’t want to hate it. And I don’t give everyone the shoosh while I am listening to it. I’m a parent, and parents just cannot get away with something like that. Sure, when a song comes on, but never to play it on repeat like I do. But on occasion, I listen to it, alone in my room, sometimes a few times over, with no one around, and I think about what it is with this song that I just can’t shake it.

Legends Apart

From can to Can’t with Corey Taylor, Dave Grohl, Rick Nielsen, and Scott Reeder. Though I have to admit I’m not familiar with Scott Reeder, I know the rest are legends in the music industry. They’ve been with me through various steps and phases of my life. Perhaps that is why and how this song affects me as it does.

From Can to Can’t

Corey Taylor, Dave Grohl, Rick Nielsen, Scott Reeder
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Under the water
It’s cold and it’s grey
My torrid autumn
Another season decays
Open up the hollow
and my walls come down
I’ll tell you it’s a problem
Just when no one’s around

But then
I know what’s wrong
God, you complicated everything
I know you’re gone, gone, gone
This is where I will draw a line
I will draw my line

Burning my cathedrals
‘Cause I don’t pray anymore
Look at all these people
Tragic little people
They’re smiling and they don’t know what for

But then
I know what’s wrong
God you complicated everything
I know you’re gone, gone, gone
This is where I will blur my line
I will blur my line

My house is all rotted
Dark and deserted
They’re made of my secrets and shame
Maybe you’re wanted
but know I’m not worth it
I can’t even sell you my name

But then
I know what’s wrong
God, you complicated everything
I know you’re wrong
God, you took it all away from me
I know you’re gone, gone, gone
This is where I will cross my line
I am crossing my line

[on iTunes]

Breaking it Down

I can’t really say it brings to mind just one particular thing or memory. Rather, this song feels like it takes me through time. Through the phases of my life. Other times, it feels like it’s a reminder of one traumatic event or another. It makes me sad and anxious. It breaks my heart.

I close my eyes and see a younger me. Mistakes I’ve made. The things I have done. All of the times my life went exactly the way I wanted it to. It seems to drag me, a little unwillingly, through these moments, these harsher realities, these stepping stones of life. I’ve been there, I’ve felt that, I’ve come through that.

I am reminded of all the times I drew my lines. I am reminded of all the times I had to walk right past those lines like they were never there to begin with. I remember that I got through all of those moments. It reminds me just how strong I really am. It tells me I can get through whatever life gives me.

But, then again…

It’s far more basic than that. It’s a relationship. It’s a struggle. It’s every moment you thought it was over. It’s every time you were right. It’s those hardest parts that when you get through to the other side, if you’re still together, if you’ve managed to hang on through all the turmoil and angst, you found the one.

The person that can get through anything with you. The person who put up with the worst you possible, the broken down you, the falling apart you, the you that had no faith left to give. They pull you through to the other side. They are your strength in the weakest of moments. Somehow, they manage to love you in spite of yourself.

And That’s How I get Rid of my Earworm

Looping, thinking, contemplating, and falling in love with the song over and over again. That is how I kill an earworm. That is how I kick that song out of my head. This post took me about two hours to write (with a 30 minute break for dinner when my daughter was finished cooking). I listened to it almost that whole time. People wandered in to talk to me, I turned it off to give them my attention. I paused for dinner. I pressed play again. I focus on something else while it plays in the background of my mind. And when I’m done, it will just naturally turn into part of my playlist. Quick, easy, and painless (for me anyways, I cannot speak for the husband, kids, and others who may be subjected to the repetition).

 

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