#BacktoSchool Jitters (part 2)

You can read part 1 [here].

Today we had a little talk. We talked about how different places require different types of behavior. We discussed how at home she’s allowed to be a little more grown up than most 10 year olds. This just kind of happened. She’s had a rather grown up year. I reminded her of the types of behavior that are expected of her at school. Her new school rewards good grades and good behavior with fun field trips and other rewards.

We also talked about how this is a fresh start. None of the past is coming with her. No one knows her story. The way she was treated before has nothing to do with school now. We discussed why it is better to not even talk about the past. Just have fun and enjoy what’s next.

She expressed worry over being the kid that nobody likes. It made me kind of sad. I pointed out to her that everyone who ever meets her loves her. I reminded her how she makes daddy’s friends act like little kids because she’s so awesome they want to play with her.

I know what a great kid I have. She is smart and beautiful and a delight to be around. She is full of enthusiasm and curiosity. She delights in conversation. She loves to share. She’s grown so much and is an entirely different child than the scared little girl she was when I first started homeschooling her.

While I’m telling her not to worry that everyone is going to love her, I’m secretly fretting over the same things. What if she struggles to make new friends? What if she and the teacher don’t get along? What if switching back to a structured day causes her anxiety attacks? (she has Generalized Anxiety Disorder and a panic disorder) There are so very many what ifs, and mom has to keep it cool and pretend she’s not freaking out, too. Five more days and counting…


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