#Brave as I may be, I’m #exhausted

So many things seem to pile up throughout the week. I crawl into bed at the end of the night, barely able to keep my eyes open. I drag myself out of bed each morning, already lacking the energy to face the day. Feels like I’ve been fighting forever. Feels like those demons are multiplying. But I am strong. I know I’ll get through. But some days, I really wish these demons could haunt someone else. I could really use a break. 

-exhausted in Michigan 


#Memory Testing

The National Memory Screening Program an initiative of the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America has this nifty questioneer. My answers are in bold. 

These questions might help you decide if you should be screened. If you answer “yes” to any of them, you might benefit from a memory screening.

Am I becoming more forgetful? Yes

Do I have trouble concentrating? Yes

Do I have difficulty performing familiar tasks? Sometimes yes, especially if the steps are interrupted. 

Do I have trouble recalling words or names in conversation? All the time

Do I sometimes forget where I am or where I am going? Occasionally 

Have family or friends told me that I am repeating questions or saying the same thing over and over again? Repeatedly

Am I misplacing things more often? Sometimes

Have I become lost when walking or driving? Yes

Have my family or friends noticed changes in my mood, behavior, personality, or desire to do things? My husband has expressed concern that I’ll become agoraphobic. 

They said it would present like Alzheimer’s, but I’ve never seen a questioneer like this. It really puts it in perspective. 

I didn’t know about the memory testing. There isn’t really anything in my area. But that’s ok. It’s a good initiative. 

The questioneer gives me the words I need when trying to communicate with my doctor. It is also a good thing to show to my husband. Help him help the doctors help me. 

Read more about the National Memory Screening Program at their website

Visit the Alzheimer’s Fondation of America website

#Beautiful Soul

I was sitting here listening to my daughter sing about washing the dishes as she washed the dishes. But every once in a while she goes into a panic that she is doing something wrong. Then she will holler for help about where to put something or somebody come check this. 

She’s never really loaded a dishwasher before. She’s only had experience with hand washing. She helped the other day, but the other kids were there to tell her what to do. 

As I’m listening to her and helping her through her panic attacks, I came across this in my Facebook. What a beautiful sentiment. 

She is such a caring, loving, beautiful soul. She tries so hard to make everyone around her happy. Then the self doubt kicks in and she begins to panic again. She never wants to disappoint. 

People really don’t see this. They don’t believe this. She only aims to please. She is calm and happy as long as her world is serine. 

Then her anxiety raises, and she doesn’t know how to handle herself anymore. She goes into overload, and then she either freezes or lashes out depending on the circumstances of the overload. 

But she only wants approval. She just needs reassurance that she is doing things right. Sometimes she needs connection, positive input. Sometimes she just needs a damned hug. But nobody sees the girl that I see. All sweet and caring and eager to please. Nobody sees how fragile and frightened she is as she waits for them to see her, hear her, respond to her, or at times praise her. I love you my sweet, sweet beautiful soul.  

Raising a #specialneeds child

It’s heartbreaking really. The sad truth of life for many special needs children. I read this article today, and my heart ached. Not only for the boy in the story, but also for my own children.

Dad Shares Autistic Son’s Heartbreaking Response to School Assignment

Bob Cornelius’ youngest son, Christopher, is on the autistic spectrum and has a difficult time making friends. Last week, he went to Christopher’s back-to-school night and snapped a photo of one of his son’s assignments hanging on the wall.

But after taking a second look, he realized something heartbreaking. Christopher answered who some of his friends are rather plainly: “No one.”

[Read More]

I know this story all to well. Having raised a child on the spectrum, having watched him grow up so lonely. He’s an adult now. The loneliness and lack of friends continues. He doesn’t know how to make any. He never understood social cues. He never understood how to make friends. Continue reading

#rewrite #rate #zero

I can’t complain when my rewrite request rate is at 0% for the month. 

This means that nobody has asked me to edit or rewrite anything I have turned in. This equals a customer satisfaction rating of 100%. 

That’s a pretty awesome rate as September comes to an end. I’m feeling pretty good about restarting my writing career. I am hopeful for what the future holds.